One more bit of Seasonal Silliness: Standard of Santa's Heavy Cavalry

As is well known, Santa's toy and gift factory at the North Pole is well guarded but, for obvious reasons, the details of the units guarding the place are a close-kept secret. It is thought that there are several units of heavy cavalry, largely sleigh mounted, but able to serve on foot as infantry as needed - dragoons, in fact. Details of one of their standards have leaked out - see below. Like the light cavalry guidon previously shown on the other site, it has a remarkable resemblance to mid-18th century British patterns. Whether the 3 in the central cartouche refers to squadron or regiment is not known. DG probably means Dragoon Guards but again, this is not certain. The age-old motto of the Santa service Circum Orbem Una Nocte (Around The World In One Night) is proudly displayed on the scroll beneath the central device.

It seemed more appropriate to post this on my somewhat dormant Tippelbruder site rather than on the much more serious SYW Templates site. Hopefully one day I will have time and energy to revivify the world of Tippelbruder!

Here is the Tippelbruder medal at last...

Even a Republic run by committee like Tippelbruder can act quickly sometimes; here is the Tippelbruder Victory medal, dug out of the storeroom in the Town Hall at Tippelbruder where the medals had languished for far too long. After much discussion it was decided that a single type of medal in gold would be issued to all who had fought in the battle, regardless of rank, rather like the Waterloo Medal which our crystal ball told us would be issued after that monumental battle of 1815.

This is the medal with ribbon:

And this the medal alone:

Apologies to all those who deserved to receive this long ago; at least now you can wear it with pride! We thank you all for fighting so nobly and successfully for the freedom of Tippelbruder against the foul Stagonians.

David Linienblatt on behalf of the Tippelbruder Town Council.

Must get that Tippelbruder medal finished and issued at long last!

It is really too bad that the medal has not yet been issued; soon it will be as notorious as the one in the next century for the Peninsular War (we have a crystal ball here in Tippelbruder that allows us to see such things...).

I'll convene the town council as soon as I can and we'll see if something can be done very soon...

David Linienblatt.

Tippelbruder medal almost ready for dispatch to the many deserving recipients...

After years of delays, not least because of the many committees involved in the design and production of the medals, the Tippelbruder medals are close to completion and should be ready for dispatch to the many worthy recipients who came from near and far to protect Tippelbruder from those ghastly Stagonians.

More news soon...

David Linienblatt
For the ruling council of Tippelbruder.

Tippelbruder commissions a medal for those who fought in the battle to protect Tippelbruder from the Stagonians

It's long overdue but at last the town council of Tippelbruder have commissioned a medal from David Linienblatt to be given to all those who fought in the battle for Tippelbruder. There will be 3 different but similar medals. A gold and silver star will be given to commanders; a silver medal will be given to those, officers and men, who distinguished themselves by notable acts of courage; and a copper/bronze medal will be given to all who fought in the battle, regardless of rank. No date has yet been set for giving out the new medal as it is still being designed but when it is completed there will be a ceremony in Tippelbruder, after which medals will be sent to all the allied countries that participated in the battle. Above is the basic design that is likely to be used for the medal.

Signor Bassi sits (or rather, stands) for his portrait

Signor Bassi, who has come from Cavenderia to learn under the aegis of David Linienblatt of Tippelbruder, has had the roughs of his portrait completed. As they were started when he was still suffering from the travails of his long journey here he is hoping that the final portrait will show him looking somewhat more rested and genial. Also coming soon - the exciting story of Signor Bassi's rather dangerous cross-cultural encounter with touchy Samurai in the streets of Tippelbruder!

Tippelbruder - the secret is out!

Recent sabre-rattling and veiled threats about Tippelbruder from the new tyrannical egomaniac in charge of Stagonia, Ludwig the Louse, means that it is now time for massive changes in Tippelbruder to become public knowledge, partly to show that any tyrant foolish enough to try another attack on Tippelbruder will have an even harder time than the last idiot. Contributions from a wide and admiring public throughout Europa as well as vastly increased revenues from tourism and trade have allowed the Tippelbruder Town Council to instigate a massive programme of improvements to the defences of Tippelbruder. The old mediaeval town walls have been swept away and new, up-to-date defences created. The attached picture shows the state of the walls of Tippelbruder itself - the outer defences, still being constructed, are more of a state secret but no doubt evidence of their nature will eventually leak out.

Come on, Ludwig! Come and get a bloody nose, just like your late unlamented predecessor!

Celebration in Tippelbruder

There has been dancing, singing and much imbibing in the streets of Tippelbruder today; it was David Linienblatt's 53rd birthday! Only a few weeks ago everyone in Tippelbruder was wondering if he or she would see another birthday with the Stagonian threat hanging over the town but now the birthday of the man who has come to symbolise the creativity and business nous of Tippelbruder made the perfect excuse for the inhabitants to "let their hair down".

The militia were still manning the walls and outworks, though, just in case those sneaky Stagonians turned up again... The troops who were wounded in the great battle and are still recuperating in Tippelbruder were also partaking of a few wee drams.

Tippelbruder Battle Report Now Available

A full description of the battle of Tippelbruder can be found here: http://frankzonia.blogspot.com/2008/02/tipplebruder-pictures.html

War artists were on the spot and there are many pictures showing the action as it developed.

New Tippelbruder Anthem Composed

In an upsurge of patriotic feeling caused by the defeat of the vile Stagonians, an anthem for the town has come by circuitous means into our hands and is being ascribed to native Tippelbruder composer Hans Bumsen, long an exile from the town.

[Were very grateful to our friend Herr Kerry Sullivan, long a friend to Tippelbruder, for bringing these to our notice.]

"From the heights of Ersatz Mountain to the Lakes of Pinkelmeer
From the leafy Liebnitz forest ‘neath our skies so blue, so clear,

[Chorus: Tippelbruder, Tippelbruder, may she long triumphant stand
Cursed be all Stagonian upstarts who would besmirch our ancient land.]

See our hallowed halls of commerce, see our inns so rich and fine,
Where we settle all our business, drinking Tippelbruder wine.

Celebrate our Men of Culture, Dummer, Eimer ,Dumplemann
Bumsen, Krankenhause and Hansen- they can’t do it - no-one can

Wide is famed our maidens’ beauty and their virtue, coy and chaste
We’ll repel voracious foemen bent on rapine, with all haste.

Rich our spires and tall our steeples. Let their bells resounding ring!
Praise to thee, Great Tipplebruder, free from emperor or king."

We have also received the words of the "Unofficial Marching Song of the Tippelbruder Militia [Fragment]"

"Oft we men of Tipplebruder, foul Stagonians soundly drub..

Find a pile of donkey’s doings, in it we’ll their noses rub!

Wide is famed our maidens' beauty and their virtue, coy and chaste

We’ll repel voracious foemen – least till we have had a taste!

Old Max Osten has a daughter and a butt of good brown beer

Let Max Osten do the fighting – I’m quite happy staying here!"

Anon.

Secret plan of defences released

The Tippelbruder Council has released a plan showing where the hastily created extra defences of the town were for the battle of Tippelbruder; the cognoscenti will no doubt wish to know so that the battle accounts now being released are as clear as possible.

An extract from a despatch from November 1757 to the generals in the field explains: "One small thing I have had time to do is show the hasty defences added to Tippelbruder (see attached plan). Earthwork lunettes have been added to the point south of the bridge. B shows barricades. There are also 3 lunettes north of the town with the roads barricaded. The barricades are old waggons packed with earth and stones and other solid debris. There are small gaps for the defenders to get in and out. The bridge is lined with and has underneath inflammable material and barrels of gunpowder, just in case! There are also chevaux de frise and other moveable devices which have been put together so they can be placed where they will most usefully block access points and roads all around the town - I leave you to decide where such obstacles can be placed to best effect."

War artists were there during the battle and their drawings are eagerly awaited.

Victory for the allies at Tippelbruder!

The church bells have been ringing at Tippelbruder to celebrate the allied victory against the evil Stagonians. A full account of the battle is now awaited as well as details of the butcher's bill, which is believed to be heavy. Many wounded have been treated in the town, with the good citizens vying with each other to provide food, drink and what meagre medical supplies they can. The picture shows some of the wounded being brought in by cart.

It seems that despite the worst attentions of bad king Maurice, Tippelbruder will continue to be the first and finest supplier of uniform templates.

The Future of Templates from Tippelbruder

With war close to Tippelbruder the future of templates from the shop here seems uncertain. David Linienblatt has volunteered to serve with his cousin's Freikorps, as he has some skill with a rifle, and he feels that as the ostensible cause of the war he cannot let other men fight for him without risking his own life on the field of battle. Should he fall in combat, who will carry on the templates? Nearly 100 templates have now been produced; will there be more?

Map of Tippelbruder and environs

For the forthcoming campaign and battle that talented amateur cartographer and refugee Jacobite Horatio di Pauli (a pseudonym) (now serving with the Trunkenbold Freikorps) has drawn up this map.

He's a very modern cartographer, as you can see, with contours, bitmap fills and all - he didn't have time to mess around with all those hand-drawn 18th century refinements.

War is nearly upon us

After many months of tension and waiting, war is nearly upon us. The propaganda war waged by Koenig Maurice of Evil Stagonia has served only to harden the resolve of the people of Tippelbruder and their allies, and all await the conflict with determination and visions of victory over the Vile Stagonians.

A piece of doggerel scrawled on a wall in Tippelbruder recently sums up the feelings of the Tipplebruderans:

Do you really think
Evil Stagonia
And her even more evil king
Tittering and scheming and threatening
Has any chance of doing a thing?

Tyrants never prosper long
Others gather to right the wrong

So carry on making your bluster
Tattle-head empty-brained thing
After you've run away screaming
Gone into exile and dreaming
Of days when your reign meant something
Now you'll repent your false lustre
In grief and misery, King
And never forget Tippelbruder - the small town with a large sting.

Highly Confidential: From the Minutes of the Town Council 23.08.1757

Discussion about the meaning of the strange graffiti plastering numerous walls in Tippelbruder led to no firm conclusion but it does seem likely that someone is trying to implicate a certain very high-ranking personage in Stollen in the affairs of Tippelbruder. To what possible end we can only speculate.

Confirmation of the existence of the eye-patched white-clad hussar in Tippelbruder has come from a roundabout diplomatic source who cannot be named but all house-to-house searches have failed to find him. Is he still here or has he fled back to his masters?

The gift of 2 hunting dogs from Stagonia to David Linienblatt with the message: Ah, I see that you are beginning to come around to a reasonable point of view.

To show our pleasure at your "change of heart", accept this fine pair of hunting dogs as a symbol of our goodwill.

-- Baron Gustav von Rumpel
Foreign Minister of Stagonia

is obviously a ploy by Stagonia to muddy the waters and probably to cover their nefarious activities, by suggesting that the aforesaid David Linienblatt has changed his attitude to Stagonia and allowed his business instincts to overcome his patriotism. However, the Template Shop's decision to tender for contracts to provide French-style uniforms has nothing to do with Stagonia but is a sensible response to the growing general demand in the market for such uniforms, and was fully discussed and approved by the Town Council beforehand. As they say in Tippelbruder, "Why should war get in the way of good business?".

Some of the troops now encamped in the vicinity of Tippelbruder are becoming a little fractious for want of activity and so their commanders have asked to be able to perform realistic manouevres to keep their men on their toes. A message will be posted in the town urging householders not to be alarmed if they hear sounds of musketry and cannon fire in the next few days; this does not signal an all-out attack by Stagonian forces (we hope; although if it does we are ready and waiting).

We still have no intelligence on the forces that Stagonia may employ in any assault on Tippelbruder nor do we have any firm indication if such troops are at present being mustered in Stagonian territory. Is Stagonia's posture mere bluster?

The Council has also issued a picture showing the arrest of Karl Kopfarbeiter, pour encourager les autres.

Mob tries to storm jail in Tippelbruder...

From the Tippelbruder Realzeitung: Yesterday evening a mob of around 3-400 people from the poorer districts of the town marched on the town jail in Tippelbruder; they were demanding that Karl Kopfarbeiter be handed over to them. Our reporter on the scene says that half seemed drunk and were trying to release him, and the other half were sober and wanted to lynch him. The town jailer Peter Hexenschuss rose to the occasion and, having sent his assistant to call out the militia, wheeled out the Puckle machine gun that he had kept ready for just such an emergency onto the front steps of the jail and cowed the mob into a surly silence with tales of what it would do to the first man, woman or child who tried to enter the building. When 50 of the militia and some of the Trunkenbold Hussars arrived 15 minutes later little remained to do but to disperse the few "revellers" who were left and post a strong guard around the jail for the night.

Meanwhile the search for Stagonian agents provocateurs in the town continues but the tall hussar with the eye patch continues to elude his deserved fate on the town gallows...

A Plot Revealed in Tippelbruder...

From the Tippelbruder Realzeitung, 8th August 1757: Rumours abound in the town today that last night a plot to deliver Tippelbruder to the Stagonians without a shot being fired was thwarted. It is said that the nephew of Max Osterling, Secretary to the General Council of Tippelbruder, has been arrested after the discovery of a treasonable correspondence with the Stagonians. The nephew, Karl Kopfarbeiter, is a well known drunken idle layabout who has squandered the talents he showed at the university of Saxe-Bearstein many years ago (he was inter-university tiddleywinks champion 3 years running) and embarrassed his family by his behaviour. However, he was until now generally regarded as harmless, if largely worthless. His most notorious habit was the long list of tall invisible friends he loudly claimed to have, including a 6-foot dormouse, a stag-beetle and a one-legged postilion; certainly his only real "friends" have long been his drinking companions in the stews of Tippelbruder.

Latest: Sources close to the Town Council have revealed that it is true that Karl Kopfarbeiter has indeed been arrested for involvement in a plot to let Stagonian troops in to Tippelbruder through one of the postern gates; he was apparently to have given the guards ale dosed with poppy juice and opened the gate at a pre-arranged signal with the troops waiting outside the moat. A family friend of the Kopfarbeiters has also claimed that Karl blames his latest invisible friend for telling him to do it; this invisible friend is a 7-feet tall white-clad hussar, with an eye patch. In a sinister turn of events, one of our reporters who has been interviewing some of Karl's drinking companions at the notorious dive "The Owl and Strumpet" in Klinkengasse Strasse tells us that several claimed (admittedly after copious libations with 3-pfennig doses of rum) that a tall man, with an eye patch and a long pipe, wearing a voluminous black cloak from head to feet, has been seen hanging about in various alehouses in Tippelbruder. Two men claimed that they had glimpsed a white uniform of some description under the cloak.


More to follow...

Most Secret - Tippelbruder Defences 1692

Our archivist dug out a copy of a plan of 1692 showing the Tippelbruder defences. As you can see, they are strongest on the west and south-west but a moat does extend around the entire perimeter of the walls.

Stagonia - the nature of the threat against us...

Intelligence has now come in of the size and constitution of the Stagonian armed forces. It is not thought that more than a portion of these forces will be available for any attack on Tippelbruder.

"The Stagonian field army is fairly substantial with 8 regiments of line infantry, 3 regiments of "Colonial infantry" (sort of like Grenzers), a battalion of standing Grenadiers, 4 regiments each of Heavy Horse and of Other Horse, plus considerable Artillery."