Thursday, 27 March 2008

Celebration in Tippelbruder

There has been dancing, singing and much imbibing in the streets of Tippelbruder today; it was David Linienblatt's 53rd birthday! Only a few weeks ago everyone in Tippelbruder was wondering if he or she would see another birthday with the Stagonian threat hanging over the town but now the birthday of the man who has come to symbolise the creativity and business nous of Tippelbruder made the perfect excuse for the inhabitants to "let their hair down".

The militia were still manning the walls and outworks, though, just in case those sneaky Stagonians turned up again... The troops who were wounded in the great battle and are still recuperating in Tippelbruder were also partaking of a few wee drams.

Saturday, 8 March 2008

Tippelbruder Battle Report Now Available

A full description of the battle of Tippelbruder can be found here:

War artists were on the spot and there are many pictures showing the action as it developed.

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

New Tippelbruder Anthem Composed

In an upsurge of patriotic feeling caused by the defeat of the vile Stagonians, an anthem for the town has come by circuitous means into our hands and is being ascribed to native Tippelbruder composer Hans Bumsen, long an exile from the town.

[Were very grateful to our friend Herr Kerry Sullivan, long a friend to Tippelbruder, for bringing these to our notice.]

"From the heights of Ersatz Mountain to the Lakes of Pinkelmeer
From the leafy
Liebnitz forest ‘neath our skies so blue, so clear,

[Chorus: Tippelbruder, Tippelbruder, may she long triumphant stand
Cursed be all Stagonian upstarts who would besmirch our ancient land.]

See our hallowed halls of commerce, see our inns so rich and fine,
Where we settle all our business, drinking
Tippelbruder wine.

Celebrate our Men of Culture, Dummer, Eimer ,Dumplemann
Bumsen, Krankenhause and Hansen- they can’t do it - no-one can

Wide is famed our maidens’ beauty and their virtue, coy and chaste
We’ll repel voracious foemen bent on rapine, with all haste.

Rich our spires and tall our steeples. Let their bells resounding ring!
Praise to thee, Great Tipplebruder, free from emperor or king."

We have also received the words of the "Unofficial Marching Song of the Tippelbruder Militia [Fragment]"

"Oft we men of Tipplebruder, foul Stagonians soundly drub..

Find a pile of donkey’s doings, in it we’ll their noses rub!

Wide is famed our maidens' beauty and their virtue, coy and chaste

We’ll repel voracious foemen – least till we have had a taste!

Old Max Osten has a daughter and a butt of good brown beer

Let Max Osten do the fighting – I’m quite happy staying here!"


Saturday, 16 February 2008

Secret plan of defences released

The Tippelbruder Council has released a plan showing where the hastily created extra defences of the town were for the battle of Tippelbruder; the cognoscenti will no doubt wish to know so that the battle accounts now being released are as clear as possible.

An extract from a despatch from November 1757 to the generals in the field explains: "One small thing I have had time to do is show the hasty defences added to Tippelbruder (see attached plan). Earthwork lunettes have been added to the point south of the bridge. B shows barricades. There are also 3 lunettes north of the town with the roads barricaded. The barricades are old waggons packed with earth and stones and other solid debris. There are small gaps for the defenders to get in and out. The bridge is lined with and has underneath inflammable material and barrels of gunpowder, just in case! There are also chevaux de frise and other moveable devices which have been put together so they can be placed where they will most usefully block access points and roads all around the town - I leave you to decide where such obstacles can be placed to best effect."

War artists were there during the battle and their drawings are eagerly awaited.

Tuesday, 5 February 2008

Victory for the allies at Tippelbruder!

The church bells have been ringing at Tippelbruder to celebrate the allied victory against the evil Stagonians. A full account of the battle is now awaited as well as details of the butcher's bill, which is believed to be heavy. Many wounded have been treated in the town, with the good citizens vying with each other to provide food, drink and what meagre medical supplies they can. The picture shows some of the wounded being brought in by cart.

It seems that despite the worst attentions of bad king Maurice, Tippelbruder will continue to be the first and finest supplier of uniform templates.